Emotional Intelligence: The Foundation of Self-Leadership and Lasting Fulfilment

Today, I want to dive into a topic that shapes every part of our lives: personally, professionally, and everything in between: Emotional Intelligence, or EQ for short.

Most of us grew up hearing about intelligence in terms of IQ - problem-solving, logic, analytical thinking. But EQ? That’s a different kind of wisdom. Emotional Intelligence is the foundation of self-leadership and hence the ability to understand, manage, and use our own emotions, as well as tune into the emotions of others. Whether you’re a partner, a parent, a leader, an entrepreneur, or simply someone navigating daily relationships, EQ is a genuine game-changer.

And before we go any further, let’s acknowledge something important: very few of us had emotionally attuned role models growing up. Most of us were not taught how to identify, express, or process emotions in healthy ways. There’s no blame or shame in that, it’s simply the way society has been shaped.

My mission, especially in the work I do with high-achieving women through self-leadership training, is to change that narrative. I’m deeply passionate about showing people that emotional skills can be learned. With the right tools and the right kind of support, we can all strengthen our emotional foundations.

I also love practical strategies: steps that are simple, actionable, and effective. When we understand how to communicate with compassion toward ourselves and others, we create meaningful shifts in our daily lives. In my experience, mastering our emotions truly is the key to everything.

So let’s explore where Emotional Intelligence began, what it’s made of, and why it matters so deeply.

A Brief Background: Where EQ Started

The term Emotional Intelligence was introduced in the mid-1990s by psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer. They defined EQ as the ability to monitor and understand emotions - both our own and those of others - and use that emotional information to guide thoughts and actions.

Shortly after, psychologist Daniel Goleman expanded on this work and proposed that EQ is just as important, if not more important, than IQ when it comes to predicting life success.

This was a powerful shift. It suggested that success isn’t just about being smart, it’s about being emotionally skilled.

Goleman's model of Emotional Intelligence includes five key components, each essential for effective communication, strong relationships, and empowered self-leadership.

1. Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to recognize your emotions as they arise and understand how they influence your behaviour.

Think of a time you reacted impulsively and only later realized your emotions, not your logic, were in control. That’s what self-awareness helps us avoid. It gives us the space to pause, reflect, and respond from a grounded, authentic place.

For high-achieving women especially, self-awareness is a crucial foundation. Without it, it’s easy to operate on autopilot, push through stress, and ignore emotional cues until burnout hits.

2. Self-Regulation

Once you understand your emotions, self-regulation helps you manage them. This isn’t about suppressing feelings; it’s about navigating them consciously.

Self-regulation lets you stay calm under pressure, think clearly, and hit the internal “pause button” before reacting, a skill that transforms relationships, decision-making, and leadership.

This is why self-regulation is a core pillar of self-leadership training as mastering your internal world shapes how you show up in your external one.

3. Motivation

People with high EQ are often inherently motivated. Their drive comes from personal meaning rather than external validation. When you can regulate emotions and stay self-aware, it becomes easier to stay focused on long-term goals, even when setbacks happen.

This creates resilience and the ability to bounce back with clarity and confidence.

4. Empathy

Empathy allows you to understand and connect with the emotions of others. It’s essential in intimate relationships and just as powerful in the workplace.

When you practice empathy, you strengthen trust, communication, and collaboration. For leaders, empathy is not a soft skill, it's very much a strategic one. It helps create trusting environments where people feel understood and supported.

5. Social Skills

Finally, strong social skills help you navigate relationships with ease. Whether you’re leading a team, resolving conflicts, negotiating, or simply connecting with others, social intelligence helps you build rapport and communicate effectively.

People with strong social skills and high EQ naturally inspire, influence, and connect with ease.

Why EQ Matters More Than Ever

We live in a fast-paced, interconnected world where technical abilities alone are no longer enough. EQ is now one of the most important keys to wellbeing, fulfilment, and leadership success.

Research shows that people with high EQ are better at:

• managing stress

• navigating uncertainty

• communicating clearly

• leading with empathy

• resolving conflict

• building healthy relationships

But beyond research, the personal benefits of EQ are profound. When you cultivate Emotional Intelligence, you experience more calm, joy, confidence, and inner stability.

The Good News: EQ Can Be Learnt

Unlike IQ, Emotional Intelligence is not fixed. With practice, reflection, and guidance, you can strengthen your EQ at any stage of life.

For me personally, developing EQ started with self-reflection. My emotional vocabulary used to be limited to “happy,” “sad,” and “angry.” I had to intentionally expand it.

I still laugh remembering the moment when my son (who was about 5 at the time) said, “Mum, you’re awfully irritated these days.” I had been so pleased with myself for identifying “irritated” as a feeling… but clearly there was room for growth as I had come to overuse the word!

I began studying emotional scales, writing down lists of emotions, and practicing regular quiet time to deepen my self-awareness.

To strengthen empathy, I worked on listening more actively, slowing down in conversations, and genuinely seeking to understand before assuming.

These are all skills we dive deeply into through self-leadership training, because the more we understand ourselves, the more effectively we navigate the world around us.

Final Thoughts

Emotional Intelligence forms the core of healthy communication, empowered leadership, and fulfilling relationships. The five components (self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills) give us a roadmap for personal growth and meaningful transformation.

And the most important message? EQ can be developed.

Whether you’re looking to lead more effectively, create healthier relationships, or simply feel more grounded in your daily life, strengthening your Emotional Intelligence is one of the most powerful investments you can make.

If you’re a high-achieving woman ready to deepen your emotional toolkit and step into greater confidence, calm, and self-leadership, this work will change everything!

Maria Rush